The other guy keeps talking about wanting to take me out to the park and letting me walk on a leash. Horrors! Doesn't he know that there are uncivilized dogs at the park? Before he will do this, he says, he wants to train me to do tricks, he likes to think that we have a relationship, and by relationship, he means he gives me fruit and I will amuse him. How shallow! I'll beat him at his game. I'm on a hunger strike. Well, I'll eat salad and pellets and hay, but that's because these foods aren't tools of manipulation.
The tall guy just walked in. I hate him. He keeps talking about wanting to eat me; I doubt he could catch me, but this has me uneasy, regardless.
The other guy complains to the tall guy about how I'm not eating treats out of his hand, or even off the floor. The tall guy suggests that I might be observing rabbit lent. I believe in God, of course, but not one constrained by petty human customs. I believe in a God who performed the Big Bang, who holds mathematics together, who nudged evolution along until rabbits emerged, and is now suspiciously absent. The tall guy then speculated that perhaps I'm a flagellant, a peculiar medieval mystic. Is this tall guy a superstitious papist?
Regardless, I'm rebelling, subtly. I nipped right through an electrical cord last night, and I can do that again. The other guy has a lot of cords.
Retribution!
On the other hand, I see nothing wrong with eating treats when the other guy isn't looking. Gala apple. Nice choice.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
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